Die-Force
Written by
A Short Play
FINAL PRODUCTION DRAFT
includes post-production dialogue
and omitted scenes
(c) 2018 Sophia Wood
Act I
Scene 1
A small but homely kitchen. MARK WILSON stands at the counter, putting together his children's lunch of jam sandwiches.
His phone and keys are on the counter beside him.
Eight-year-old MILLIE and LUCAS WILSON sneak in, trying to keep quiet.
Millie wears a pirate's eye patch with a skull and crossbones on it. In her hand is a homemade treasure map. Lucas wears thick glasses. They're both holding shovels.
Mark doesn't look up, too invested in trying to make their sandwiches.
MARK
Lunch is almost ready guys. Just give me a couple more minutes. I couldn't find the bread... or the butter.
The two stop, barely steps away from the door. They turn in unison to face Mark, who has yet to notice their suspicious activity.
MILLIE
Ummm, is that jam?
LUCAS
And triangles?
MARK
Yep, yep. Only the best for my kids. Jam sandwiches cut into triangles, just like you guys like it.
Millie and Lucas pause.
MILLIE
I don't like jam.
LUCAS
I don't like triangles.
MARK
What? Since when?
MILLIE
Since forever. It tastes like guts!
MARK
How... how do you know what guts taste like?
MILLIE
I know everything.
LUCAS
And you can't cut a sandwich into triangles! That's not enough bread to crust ratio!
MARK
... What? ... What does that even mean? Isn't this how your mom does it?
LUCAS & MILLIE
(Together.)
No.
Mark puts his head in his hands, exhausted. The twins exchange glances.
MARK
What does she make then? When she's here?
MILLIE
When's Mommy coming back?
MARK
Ummm, we don't know yet. She's... ummm... hey, listen. So... Sometimes people, no, that's not... okay so-
He stops, takes a breath.
LUCAS
Where'd she go?
MARK
Oh, well she's just, um... Listen, Mom's gonna be gone for a while okay? And-
Mark looks at them properly, for the first time, and notices the shovels.
MARK(CONT.)
... Why do you two have shovels?
They panic.
LUCAS
We're going to shovel Mr. Frank's driveway.
Millie
Show and tell at school.
MARK
It's not snowing... and it's Saturday... And I didn't know we owned shovels...
Before he can finish his phone rings. He reaches for it, looking relieved. After giving Millie and Lucas one last lingering look, he exits to answer it.
MILLIE
Good job, dingus! Now he's gonna get suspicious!
LUCAS
Me? You're the one who said show and tell! We don't even have school today! How does that make any sense?
MILLIE
If you're going to be part of my pirate crew-
LUCAS
You don't have a crew.
MILLIE
(Ignoring that.)
- then you gotta follow my lead!
LUCAS
That's what you said last time, when we dug up Mr. Frank's petunias. And when we got caught watching IT last week. And when you broke Mom's-
MILLIE
Shush!
Mark enters the room again, phone in hand. He moves around the room in a frantic rush, grabbing his coat and keys off the counter.
MARK
Hey kids, I'm sorry, something's come up at work. I don't like leaving you but it's only for about an hour, tops. They're just all idiots who couldn't find their own heads if they were up their-
He stops, realizing he's talking to two eight-year-olds.
MARK(CONT.)
Ummm, you can ignore that part. Okay?
Lucas and Millie nod in unison.
MARK(CONT.)
Can I leave you two alone for a while? Without getting in trouble? And that means no scary movies, no heists for candy, no burning the house down. All you have to do is sit here, eat your lunch, and don't do anything...Okay? Just don't do anything.
Again, Lucas and Millie nod in unison.
MARK(CONT.)
Okay.
Mark's phone rings again.
MARK(CONT.)
Okay, okay, I'm going. Bye.
Mark leaves in a hurry, leaving Millie and Lucas with their two shovels.
They wait for a beat.
LUCAS
You think he's gone?
MILLIE
Yep.
ACT II
Scene 1
Millie and Lucas stand in a small garden. There are a few hedges and carefully planted flowers. They're digging up the grass with shovels far too big for them.
In Millie’s hand is the treasure map.
LUCAS
Why do you think there's pirate treasure in our garden?
MILLIE
There's pirate treasure buried everywhere! I saw it in a movie.
LUCAS
But why in our garden?
MILLIE
Because that’s what the treasure map says!
She waves the map at him.
LUCAS
… You made that!
MILLIE
Trust me. We're going to be rich. And if we find treasure, I'm buying a pirate ship.
LUCAS
You can't just buy a pirate ship, Millie! They don't exist anymore.
MILLIE
Says you!
LUCAS
If we find treasure, we're donating it to a museum.
MILLIE
Why are you such a nerd?
LUCAS
Mom doesn't like it when you call me that!
MILLIE
Mom's not here, is she?
Lucas stops with his shoveling.
LUCAS
... Do you think she's coming back?
Millie doesn't look at him. She hesitates with her shoveling, but then continues.
MILLIE
Why wouldn't she?
LUCAS
I don't know... I heard her and Dad arguing last week, and she sounded really upset and-
MILLIE
You're supposed to be helping me here. Or I won't share my tr-
Her shovel hits something hard. She stops. They both stare at the ground in surprise.
LUCAS
What's that?
MILLIE
What're you asking me for?
LUCAS
Do you think it’s pirate treasure?
MILLIE
I don't know.
LUCAS
Why don't you look?
MILLIE
Why don't you look?
Without another word they start a game of rock paper scissors. Lucas picks paper. Millie picks rock.
LUCAS
Hah!
MILLIE
Whatever.
LUCAS
Rules are rules.
Millie kneels to the ground and digs at the dirt until she pulls something long and white up from their small hole.
They stare at it for a moment before realization dawns on them.
She drops it. Both the kids squeal.
MILLIE
Is that?
LUCAS
Yes.
MILLIE
Bones?
LUCAS
Yes!
MILLIE
In our garden?
LUCAS
Yep.
They share a look and then bolt back to the house, dropping the shovels on the way.
Scene 2
Millie and Lucas pace in the kitchen.
Lucas is panicking. Millie looks overjoyed.
LUCAS
Millie, those were bones. Actual bones! In our garden! Why do we have skeletons in our garden?
MILLIE
I don't know. Isn't it cool? No one's going to believe us at school.
LUCAS
Cool?! What do you mean cool?
MILLIE
I mean cool.
LUCAS
Whose bones are they, anyway?
MILLIE
I think... I think they're pirate bones.
LUCAS
Why?
MILLIE
Because he was guarding his treasure, duh.
LUCAS
There is no treasure, Millie!
MILLIE
Then why does the map-
LUCAS
(Losing his temper.)
You drew that map! I watched you do it!
MILLIE
Okay, do you have a better idea? Whose body is it then?
LUCAS
I don't know!
MILLIE
Who would bury a body in our garden?
They both think for a moment.
LUCAS
Do you think Dad knows about it? He does a lot of gardening.
Millie gasps.
MILLIE
What if Dad buried the body!
LUCAS
You mean-
MILLIE
Our Dad’s an assassin!
LUCAS
Yes!
They share a look of amazement.
Then Lucas looks confused.
LUCAS (CONT.)
But I thought he was an accountant?
MILLIE
No, that's his cover... he isn't really an a-cat-nut.
LUCAS
Do you... do you mean accountant?
MILLIE
Yeah, that. Listen, how else do you explain the bones? I mean, he always has to go to work for emergencies, right? What if they're, like, assassin emergencies!
LUCAS
You mean like those James Band movies he likes?
MILLIE
Yes! James Bond!
LUCAS
And... and those bones-
MILLIE
That was his nemesis!
Lucas gasps in realization.
LUCAS
But... does Mom know?
Millie gives him a "duh" look.
MILLIE
Mom's an assassin too!
LUCAS
What?
MILLIE
Come on Lucas! It’s obvious.
Disappearing for a few days? Dad doesn't know when she's going to come back? He doesn't want to tell us where she is? She's doing an assassin job! Duh!
LUCAS
Oooh!
MILLIE
Now we just need proof.
LUCAS
... Why?
MILLIE
Because how else are we going to tell everyone in school?
LUCAS
We- what?
MILLIE
Because if everyone knows our parents are scary assassins then no one will mess with us anymore!
LUCAS
... I would like to keep my lunch money for once.
MILLIE
See? Exactly!
LUCAS
Okay... okay if we need proof then... I bet we could find something in Dad's office.
ACT III
Scene 1
Mark's office, aka the spare bedroom. It's cluttered with laundry that needs folding, a few spare boxes, a filing cabinet, and a desk with a very old computer on it.
Millie and Lucas creep inside, trying to stay silent and failing miserably.
LUCAS
If we get caught-
MILLIE
How're we gonna get caught? Dad isn't even here.
LUCAS
He could have, oh I don't know, cameras? Spy's have cameras.
MILLIE
I thought he was an assassin?
LUCAS
Same thing.
They both start looking around the mess. Lucas sifts through the desk. Millie starts tapping on the walls.
LUCAS
What’re you doing?
MILLIE
Secret entrances. Trust me.
Lucas shakes his head and turns back to the desk, where a piece of paper catches his eye. He picks it up and skims it a little.
LUCAS
Look at this.
MILLIE
What is it?
LUCAS
It looks like a letter. Mom wrote it.
Millie snatches the letter out of his hands. Lucas looks annoyed.
MILLIE
“I want a-”
What does “die-force” mean?
LUCAS
Give it back!
He rips the paper from her hands. She huffs at him, but lets him take it.
MILLIE
It’s probably a spy term.
LUCAS
Like a police force?
MILLIE
Yeah! But for spies! The letter’s probably written in code.
LUCAS
“We both knew this was a long time coming. I can’t take all the fights anymore.”
Do you think she’s talking about their fights with other assassins?
MILLIE
Yeah! Duh! Our parents are so cool. I want to be an assassin when I grow up.
LUCAS
I thought you wanted to be a pirate?
MILLIE
I can be a pirate assassin.
LUCAS
I still want to be a doctor though.
Millie huffs.
MILLIE
Okay fine you can be a doctor! Nerd.
LUCAS
Mom doesn’t like it when you call me that!
MILLIE
Whatever! Keep reading!
LUCAS
“I never wanted this life”-
Do you think she doesn’t want to be an assassin anymore?
Do you think that’s why she left?
MILLIE
What if she left because the bad guys won’t let her quit?
(Gasps.)
And she had to leave to protect us. But now Dad is going to go help her. And maybe he’ll bring her back!
Does she say anything else?
LUCAS
“I know I promised you we’d make this work”-
MILLIE
Yada, yada, probably about being a spy.
LUCAS
What about this part?
“I wake up and I make breakfast and I clean up after the kids and then I make lunch and clean up some more and then I make dinner and then we go to bed. I’m sick of it.”
MILLIE
… Do you think that’s code?
Lucas peers at the letter more intently.
LUCAS
Shush, I’m trying to read more.
MILLIE
Read it out loud then, Lucas! I can’t see it.
Something changes in his face. He looks at Millie.
LUCAS
… Nah, I’m bored now.
MILLIE
Lucas!
LUCAS
What does it matter? Come on, I bet we can find Dad’s special cakes he hides before he gets back.
Millie lunges for the paper. Lucas tries to jump out of the way. They end up scuffling on the floor. Millie manages to wrestle the paper from him and jumps up, victorious.
She reads it as Lucas tries to grab it back.
Millie climbs on top of the desk, balancing precariously, trying to read the letter.
Her smile slowly drops from her face as she reads.
MILLIE
What does she mean by that?
LUCAS
…I don’t know.
MILLIE
You’re the smart one! What does she mean-
LUCAS
(Yelling.)
I don’t know Millie!
They stare at each other for a moment and Millie climbs down from the desk.
MILLIE
She doesn’t mean that. They’re spies! She’s gotta leave for a while because of the bad guys but she’ll come back soon. Dad’ll bring her home soon.
LUCAS
Millie-
MILLIE
(Yelling, desperate.)
It’s code! Dad will explain it!
MARK (OS)
I’m home. What’re you two arguing about in there? I thought I told you not to go in my office.
Mark walks into the room.
MILLIE
We know your secret!
His face falls.
MARK
Oh… is this about your mother?
LUCAS
Millie-
MILLIE
We found the bones.
He’s taken by surprise. He was not expecting that.
MARK
The… the what?
LUCAS
The bones in the garden…
MARK
… Are you talking about Pogo? Wait a second, did you two dig up the garden?
LUCAS
Pogo?
MILLIE
You said Pogo went to a doggie farm…
MARK
… I did say that didn’t I?
MILLIE
Does that mean you’re not a spy?
MARK
A spy? No… sorry to disappoint you two. I’m still just an accountant.
MILLIE
Then what about Mom’s letter?
MARK
You found that, huh?
LUCAS
Is Mom coming back?
MARK
… Alright, we need to talk.
He takes a knee in front of them, so that they’re eye level.
MARK(CONT.)
So…
(He pauses.)
Your mom loves you both. Very much. You do know that, right?
Lucas and Millie nod in unison.
MARK(CONT.)
Okay… so sometimes… umm… so you know how sometimes Lucas wants to go to a museum? But Millie wants to go to the park? Our life is the museum… and Mom’s just decided to go to the park. She doesn’t want to go to the museum anymore…
LUCAS
… So, Moms just at the park?
MILLIE
Can we go to the park with her?
MARK
No… no she’s not actually at the park. It was a metaphor.
MILLIE
What’s a metaphor?
MARK
It’s when something is one thing, but in actuality it means something else that-
You know what? We’re getting off track. So, for your mom the museum is our life, right?
Both the children look lost.
LUCAS
Right.
MILLIE
Ummm…
MARK
And the park is… is…
He looks at Lucas and Millie. Their faces are blank. They aren’t comprehending. He lets out a long breath.
MARK (CONT.)
Okay… listen. Your mom-
He pauses, considering for a beat.
MARK (CONT.)
Your mom is an assassin. You two figured it out.
Millie’s face lights up. Lucas doesn’t look as convinced.
MILLIE
Really?
MARK
Yep… she’s going to be gone for a while… On a mission. And ummm… it’s okay that you’re sad about it. I’m sad too.
LUCAS
So… is Mom coming back?
MARK
I… ummm I don’t know how long the mission will take-
MILLIE
(Excited.)
What’s the mission?
MARK
I… I can’t tell you. It’s top secret, okay? You can’t tell anyone.
LUCAS
(Suspicious.)
What about the letter?
MARK
It was… it was code. For me. To tell me what mission she’s err… on…
Millie looks happy now, relieved. Lucas still isn’t convinced.
Mark smiles a weak smile at them. There are tears in his eyes.
MARK (CONT.)
She’s going to be gone for a while and I don’t know when she’s going to be back.
And… and you should know that I love you both more than anything. And I’m not going anywhere. Things are going to be tricky for a while, but they’re going to get better. Okay?
Lucas and Millie take a moment to digest the information.
Mark’s voice is tight with tears, but he does not let them fall.
MARK (CONT.)
Okay… why don’t we revisit lunch? Yeah? And then we can watch a movie and talk more. I can answer any questions you two have, okay?
MILLIE
Okay.
Lucas says nothing. Mark looks at him.
MARK
Lucas?
Lucas looks between Mark and Millie. Then he nods.
LUCAS
Yeah, Dad. Okay.
MARK
What do you two want for lunch then? Don’t worry, I’ll throw out those evil jam triangles.
MILLIE
Actually, I think jam triangles are fine.
MARK
Really? You two don’t have to-
LUCAS
Yeah, I want jam triangles.
They leave the study together, holding hands.
MILLIE
So… what were you saying about Pogo?